Good news, Ladies!
I've had several friends offer to do your hair for the wedding, so no one needs to buy a $30 hair bow. AND- now it has a significantly smaller chance of looking ridiculous. YAY!
And, for everyone:
I've also booked an officiant. It took forever to find one! But Pastor Robin from the Plymouth Spiritualist Church in Rochester will be conducting the ceremony.
Some of you may be surprised by this. It was a struggle to find an officiant that I felt could "fit" between Anthony and I. I had originally wanted a non-religious figure, because Anthony is not at all religious.
However, I am. I'm a spiritualist/wiccan/neopagan kinda guy. Anthony and I have both been to the Plymouth Spiritualist Church for a service or two, but I could tell he wasn't thrilled to be there.
I've seen lots of wedding ceremonies that are all about God. Or Jesus. Or Spirit. Or Whathaveyou. But I want my ceremony to be about love. I believe in god, so I don't mind a religious figure conducting a spiritual (and legal) union for us, but I do want the focus to be love.
[For the record, Anthony is cool with it, too. He's more like, "go ahead and plan the wedding, and I'll totally make sure to be there." So if the wedding is too fabulous for life, it's my fault! Sorry!]
I'll be talking to Pastor Robin soon to flesh out what I'm actually looking for in a ceremony (besides gaga and dancing and theatrics, of course). I'll get back to you then, but I wanted to let you know we're getting there!! yay!
25.2.12
14.2.12
Wedding Update #3
Here's where we're getting hitched!
What do you think?
Check out my picasa album for all the pictures I took tonight. I know some (a lot) are blurry, but I'm not a great taker-of-photos.
 |
| Hi Anthony! |
What do you think?
Check out my picasa album for all the pictures I took tonight. I know some (a lot) are blurry, but I'm not a great taker-of-photos.
11.2.12
The Rochester That Could Have Been
I was born in Rochester, New York, and have lived outside of it my whole life. In the last few years, I moved into the city, and have spent a lot of time wondering why Rochester seems to be left in ruins.
So much of the city is considered to be a "bad" neighborhood. There are seemingly endless expanses of burned out houses, small shops with bars on the windows, and Rochester has been infamous for it's crime.
Why is this the case? Rochester has had so much that could have put it on the map as a beautiful, historic city that anyone would want to vacation in. Here's what I've discovered:
1. High Falls
Rochester has a huge 96 foot waterfall, literally, in the center of the city. The area around the falls are run down. It clearly had meant to be a historic district, but instead, the falls are littered with abandoned buildings, including a sprawling brewery. Not many cities can boast a waterfall steps away from Main Street.
2. Midtown Plaza
So much of the city is considered to be a "bad" neighborhood. There are seemingly endless expanses of burned out houses, small shops with bars on the windows, and Rochester has been infamous for it's crime.
Why is this the case? Rochester has had so much that could have put it on the map as a beautiful, historic city that anyone would want to vacation in. Here's what I've discovered:
1. High Falls
Rochester has a huge 96 foot waterfall, literally, in the center of the city. The area around the falls are run down. It clearly had meant to be a historic district, but instead, the falls are littered with abandoned buildings, including a sprawling brewery. Not many cities can boast a waterfall steps away from Main Street.
2. Midtown Plaza
 |
| America's first downtown indoor mall |
Until recently, there was a huge mall in the center of the city. Midtown Plaza was America's first downtown indoor mall. The mall, though, had begun to fail, and the city decided to tear it down. Now, in the center of the city, is a huge pit full of rubble. Of all the malls to revitalize, why not a historic one that could only revitalize the city, as well?
3. The Erie Canal
I know, a lot of cities and towns in New York have historic canal districts. No big deal, right? Wrong. The erie canal used to pass through the center of the city, crossing the Genesse river using an aquaduct. The old city hall was built with its main entrance facing the canal. Can you imagine a historic canal district in the heart of the city? Boat tours? Pedestrian bridges taking you from shop to cafe to shop? It could have made for a stunning downtown area.
What did the city do? Rerouted the canal around the outside of the city, and replace the aquaduct with the bridge.
The Broad Street Bridge now covers the unused aquaduct. The empty aquaduct once held the (now abandoned) Rochester subway system- the smallest subway system in the united states.
4. History Makers
Susan B Anthony lived in Rochester. She's buried in Mt. Hope Cemetery (see point #5). Her house is now a museum, but the Anthony neighborhood is not a place you want to hang out.
Fredrick Douglass also lived in Rochester for a short period of time. He, too, is buried in Mt. Hope.
5. Mt Hope Cemetery
Mt Hope is the United States' first municipal rural cemetery (rural being the style of the cemetery- richly landscaped and sprawling). It is a breathtaking place; the resting place of over 350,000 people.
6. Spiritualism
Rochester is basically the birthplace of Spiritualism. In conjunction with historic canal districts, an enormous cemetery, and historic figures, Rochester could have become a wonderful tourist destination- with the appeal of Salem, and history and beauty rivaled by no other city.
So, why isn't Rochester a beautiful, historic, wealthy city? No really, I want to know.
7.2.12
Wedding update #2
We set a date! October 27th, the last Saturday in October.
Yaaaaaay!!
We're getting married at the auditorium center in Rochester, New York. I'd link to the website, but it's just awful. We're going next week to pay the deposit, and I'll take a bunch of pictures.
Also, I'm going with smaller, black hair bows for the ladies in the wedding party.
I'm also thinking that your bouquets will be black and white paper flowers- with black and white boutonnières for the men.
I might soon have an officiant, too! I've contacted a pastor from the Plymouth Spiritualist church in Rochester. I want her to talk about happiness and love, and not too much about god.
I still have to think about food. Hmmmm...
Yaaaaaay!!
We're getting married at the auditorium center in Rochester, New York. I'd link to the website, but it's just awful. We're going next week to pay the deposit, and I'll take a bunch of pictures.
Also, I'm going with smaller, black hair bows for the ladies in the wedding party.
I'm also thinking that your bouquets will be black and white paper flowers- with black and white boutonnières for the men.
I might soon have an officiant, too! I've contacted a pastor from the Plymouth Spiritualist church in Rochester. I want her to talk about happiness and love, and not too much about god.
I still have to think about food. Hmmmm...
4.2.12
Wedding Update #1
Attention Wedding Party! (Just the girls, sorry Nick!)
I have officially picked out your outfits. I'm still trying to find parts of them cheaply, so don't start buying stuff just yet. Except for the dress, that's not changing!
Here's the dress:
And those are the only "required" parts. The colors of the wedding are black and white, so please keep everything to those colors.
I still don't know about shoes. I mean, there's really only so much that's going to match the dress.
I have officially picked out your outfits. I'm still trying to find parts of them cheaply, so don't start buying stuff just yet. Except for the dress, that's not changing!
Here's the dress:
 |
| From Amazon! |
The hair accessory:
 |
| It's hard to find these in not-blonde colors! Here's one option, but if you find them cheeper, let me know! |
And those are the only "required" parts. The colors of the wedding are black and white, so please keep everything to those colors.
Like this:
 |
| From Target! But don't buy their stuff online, it's expensive. Get cheap costume jewelry in the store. |
I still don't know about shoes. I mean, there's really only so much that's going to match the dress.
And you'll be holding black and white flowers-- but they MAY be made out of paper. And they MAY have glitter. Maybe. I'll let you know.
28.1.12
An open letter to Lady Gaga
Dear Lady Gaga:
I love you. You have done more for my self esteem than any self-help book ever could. I have never been to the Monster Ball, but, for Christmas, my wonderful fiancé gifted me your HBO special on DVD. It was brilliant.
I can only imagine what it's like to be in a crowd of thousands of little monsters, cheering and screaming for a woman who is simply telling them that they already are superstars, and that they can be whoever and whatever they want- whenever they want. It's inspiring and uplifting just watching it from my couch-- in person, it must be a real mind fuck.
I have always wanted to be fabulous. I've always wanted to be fashionable and avant-garde. Your shows, your music videos, and your music has given me the freedom to do things I wouldn't have done before. I've been more outgoing with my friends and coworkers, I've spoken my mind to strangers, I've become more loving and accepting. However, I have run into a little problem, and I was hoping to get a little of your insight.
I've been having a problem expressing myself with fashion. Part of the problem, clearly, is the budget I have to work with. I'm an hourly team leader at Target. I can't afford to buy things from the Versace website. I spend a lot of time looking though eBay, checking the racks at places like Marshall's, and even following the trends at Target (which are usually pretty fabulous!).
But let's pretend that money is no object. Say I'm the richest man in world and I can buy anything and everything. So what? Men's fashion is SO boring in comparison to women's fashion. At Target, for example, there is one aisle of men's shoes. There are, at any one time, at least six aisles of women's shoes. I hate shoe shopping (anywhere) because the options are: sneakers, dress shoes, work boots. Anything else is a varient of those three.
I was so excited this past year as we set the Missoni for Target collection. Bold colors! Bold patterns! Love it! But as I unpacked the boxes and hung the clothes, I was disappointed. There were stunning dresses, beautiful blouses, fashionable teddies and bras-- but for men? Two sweaters (one black and white, and one brown), some ties (yeah, a fun tie. That's how I'll stand out), some scarves, and some winter hats (like, beanies with a pom pom).
Men's fashion is so boring! It's all the same, just with different colors and materials. It's always a suit, or a cardigan, or loafers. I was even browsing through the Missoni men's collection and the Versace men's collection, and yeah, they have nice looking stuff, but it's still all suits and cardigans (I mean, and, it's a gagillion dollars).
What's a boy to do? I can either settle for a life of suits and cardigans or become a drag queen (don't get me wrong- I love a ball gown as much as the next girl, but it's not really my preferred day-wear). It just feels like there is no middle ground.
So, Lady Gaga, Queen of Pop, Empress of Fashion, how do I break out of a world of suits without donning evening gowns to work? Is it possible? Does men's fashion even have a future outside of suits and ties?
Much Love,
one of your biggest fans and little monsters,
-Nick
I love you. You have done more for my self esteem than any self-help book ever could. I have never been to the Monster Ball, but, for Christmas, my wonderful fiancé gifted me your HBO special on DVD. It was brilliant.
I can only imagine what it's like to be in a crowd of thousands of little monsters, cheering and screaming for a woman who is simply telling them that they already are superstars, and that they can be whoever and whatever they want- whenever they want. It's inspiring and uplifting just watching it from my couch-- in person, it must be a real mind fuck.
I have always wanted to be fabulous. I've always wanted to be fashionable and avant-garde. Your shows, your music videos, and your music has given me the freedom to do things I wouldn't have done before. I've been more outgoing with my friends and coworkers, I've spoken my mind to strangers, I've become more loving and accepting. However, I have run into a little problem, and I was hoping to get a little of your insight.
I've been having a problem expressing myself with fashion. Part of the problem, clearly, is the budget I have to work with. I'm an hourly team leader at Target. I can't afford to buy things from the Versace website. I spend a lot of time looking though eBay, checking the racks at places like Marshall's, and even following the trends at Target (which are usually pretty fabulous!).
But let's pretend that money is no object. Say I'm the richest man in world and I can buy anything and everything. So what? Men's fashion is SO boring in comparison to women's fashion. At Target, for example, there is one aisle of men's shoes. There are, at any one time, at least six aisles of women's shoes. I hate shoe shopping (anywhere) because the options are: sneakers, dress shoes, work boots. Anything else is a varient of those three.
I was so excited this past year as we set the Missoni for Target collection. Bold colors! Bold patterns! Love it! But as I unpacked the boxes and hung the clothes, I was disappointed. There were stunning dresses, beautiful blouses, fashionable teddies and bras-- but for men? Two sweaters (one black and white, and one brown), some ties (yeah, a fun tie. That's how I'll stand out), some scarves, and some winter hats (like, beanies with a pom pom).
Men's fashion is so boring! It's all the same, just with different colors and materials. It's always a suit, or a cardigan, or loafers. I was even browsing through the Missoni men's collection and the Versace men's collection, and yeah, they have nice looking stuff, but it's still all suits and cardigans (I mean, and, it's a gagillion dollars).
What's a boy to do? I can either settle for a life of suits and cardigans or become a drag queen (don't get me wrong- I love a ball gown as much as the next girl, but it's not really my preferred day-wear). It just feels like there is no middle ground.
So, Lady Gaga, Queen of Pop, Empress of Fashion, how do I break out of a world of suits without donning evening gowns to work? Is it possible? Does men's fashion even have a future outside of suits and ties?
Much Love,
one of your biggest fans and little monsters,
-Nick
17.1.12
new year, old problems
A lot has been happening in my life lately. Work has been crazy. I survived fourth quarter in retail, and probably came out of it better, and certainly more experienced. My mom had a medical emergency, and that sent me over the stress edge. I've been trying to plan a wedding (mine, if that wasn't clear). And I've been once again struggling with my sense of Self; who I want to be and what I want to do. So, where do we begin?
I guess the first thing to talk about is work. I haven't been having the best time, to be completely honest with you, anonymous internet audience. As I've said before, the new role I took on in August ended up being a lot more demanding than I could have imagined. That being said, I've learned a lot. I've learned that I still have a lot of growing to do. It's not like the place I work treats me unfairly, or that I have more to do than is usual for a person to do each day; but the fact is that I need to vastly improve my ability to think quickly and act correctly. When I worked in the world of human resources, I was able to take all the time I needed to look at my problems from different angles and pick the best possible solution. I mean, I worked on problems for weeks so I could fix the very root of the issue. Now, I don't have the luxury of time. I also have a lot more "busy work" than I did in HR (not that it's actually "busy work," but I have a lot more daily tasks than I had before). Most of my problems at work (and, therefore, my stress) stem from these issues. I believe that I can overcome these issues. But I also think, knowing me, that it's going to take more time. I've been in my new role now for about six months and I still feel like the new kid. Most of that is on me. I need to learn to not take things personally, to stand up for myself, and to keep a cool head (and not get overly stressed out).
Which, has been a problem in the last week and a half. My mom has been in the hospital (she's doing much better now!) and I was very worried about her dying. I missed a bunch of work, my stress level hit an all-time high and I haven't been sleeping well because of that. So when I've been at work, I've been run-down, irritable, and worried about my mom.
So, lately my life has been going to work, going directly to the hospital to be with my mom for a few hours, and then coming home, drinking some wine, and going to bed only to do it all again in the morning. There has also been a financial strain, since we've been driving across the city every day, buying food on the go, and paying for parking ($6/day!!).
The advice I've been getting from friends and family is to take care of myself. But, you see, I've never been big on taking care of myself, so now, it's not coming naturally. I think back to other times in my life that were filled with stress and they never went well, for the very fact that I'm not taking care of me enough (think college senior year). There are so many things that I want to do, and the hard part is doing them. My instinct is to retreat from the stress, sit on the couch and watch Family Guy. ALL DAY. But that's no good. I've felt like shit lately, and that must have something to do with it.
Maybe I don't need to be a health nut, and maybe I don't need to be super thin, and maybe I don't need to be rich, and maybe I don't need to be whatever. But I do need to be happy. And I'm not. And that's not what I've been concentrating on. I've been trying to fix all the symptoms without diving into the real problem.
I want to start a business. But I don't think I ever will unless I feel good about my life. This is just the constant struggle I've been having. I need to meditate, I need to get to know myself.
So, do I have any answers? No, not yet. But here are some resources I'm using to help:
-You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
-Inner Light Teachings with Beth Lynch
Are there any resources that you use that others might benefit from? Please leave a comment!
I guess the first thing to talk about is work. I haven't been having the best time, to be completely honest with you, anonymous internet audience. As I've said before, the new role I took on in August ended up being a lot more demanding than I could have imagined. That being said, I've learned a lot. I've learned that I still have a lot of growing to do. It's not like the place I work treats me unfairly, or that I have more to do than is usual for a person to do each day; but the fact is that I need to vastly improve my ability to think quickly and act correctly. When I worked in the world of human resources, I was able to take all the time I needed to look at my problems from different angles and pick the best possible solution. I mean, I worked on problems for weeks so I could fix the very root of the issue. Now, I don't have the luxury of time. I also have a lot more "busy work" than I did in HR (not that it's actually "busy work," but I have a lot more daily tasks than I had before). Most of my problems at work (and, therefore, my stress) stem from these issues. I believe that I can overcome these issues. But I also think, knowing me, that it's going to take more time. I've been in my new role now for about six months and I still feel like the new kid. Most of that is on me. I need to learn to not take things personally, to stand up for myself, and to keep a cool head (and not get overly stressed out).
Which, has been a problem in the last week and a half. My mom has been in the hospital (she's doing much better now!) and I was very worried about her dying. I missed a bunch of work, my stress level hit an all-time high and I haven't been sleeping well because of that. So when I've been at work, I've been run-down, irritable, and worried about my mom.
So, lately my life has been going to work, going directly to the hospital to be with my mom for a few hours, and then coming home, drinking some wine, and going to bed only to do it all again in the morning. There has also been a financial strain, since we've been driving across the city every day, buying food on the go, and paying for parking ($6/day!!).
The advice I've been getting from friends and family is to take care of myself. But, you see, I've never been big on taking care of myself, so now, it's not coming naturally. I think back to other times in my life that were filled with stress and they never went well, for the very fact that I'm not taking care of me enough (think college senior year). There are so many things that I want to do, and the hard part is doing them. My instinct is to retreat from the stress, sit on the couch and watch Family Guy. ALL DAY. But that's no good. I've felt like shit lately, and that must have something to do with it.
Maybe I don't need to be a health nut, and maybe I don't need to be super thin, and maybe I don't need to be rich, and maybe I don't need to be whatever. But I do need to be happy. And I'm not. And that's not what I've been concentrating on. I've been trying to fix all the symptoms without diving into the real problem.
I want to start a business. But I don't think I ever will unless I feel good about my life. This is just the constant struggle I've been having. I need to meditate, I need to get to know myself.
So, do I have any answers? No, not yet. But here are some resources I'm using to help:
-You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
-Inner Light Teachings with Beth Lynch
Are there any resources that you use that others might benefit from? Please leave a comment!
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